This is actually a (decently) old post from my other blog, but I felt the need to post it here.

Here is why One Direction means almost the world to me.

When I first saw the boys on my dashboard, I disregarded it. I found out their name from the posts, but the only one I really could remember was Harry Styles. His face just stuck to me. Maybe it was because I thought he looked like Jake T. Austin. Hahaha, but at first I just saw them as these cute boys that Sam, Christine, Rosalind, and Paige would post. No big deal.

It was then I saw the spams about them being on the Big Time Rush tour and decided “Why not. I’ll go look them up on youtube.” That’s the first time I ever heard “What Makes You Beautiful.” I couldn’t stop listening to it. Then I caved… I asked Christine to send me their single on November 5, 2011. I played it, then would play another song, but always felt the need to go back to WMYB, but it wasn’t until Jessica that my love grew.

Originally, I started to listen to them because my best friend and I were so adamant on going to the Music Sounds Better With U Tour. I was so interested in seeing why so many girls were saying “I’m only going to go see One Direction and leave before Big Time Rush get on stage.” As a Rusher though, that hurt, but I didn’t know that my Directioner life would completely surpass my Rusher life.

Please don’t get on my case about finding them that way.

So I knew who Harry was, and by extension Zayn because of Christine, then Jessica started to listen to them. By here, I was calling myself a closet directioner, secretly listening to WMYB on a daily basis. Honestly, I was always afraid to reblog them because I knew Jessica’s harboring hate for boybands. Yet, she started to listen to them. She texted me and I started to spam her with pictures. That night I found out all their names. Hahahaha. That was also the night I downloaded Up All Night (I thought it didn’t come out yet… I was wrong). Thus began our obsession. She is now my Boo Bear.

I started watching all the x factor videos and their music videos. Jessica and I spent so much time doing that. It was crazy. Hell we’ve stayed up until 2 AM watching and talking about them with Christine.

It’s crazy how they came into my life in such a way. My life has spiraled down into a routine. A boring and sick routine. My mom would always talk to me, get on my case about the SAT, my grades, and all this stuff about college. My friends were beginning to ignore me. I felt left out of my own friends at school. My best friend never replies to my texts. I felt alone, really. The last few months of 2011 were basically me just trying to get through my day. I bottle up emotions and push them to the furtherest corners of my mind because I get scared of what happens when I actually feel them. Things just go wrong when I truly express myself. So I hide, I hide behind a smile.

Then there is my boyfriend. My wonderful amazing boyfriend. We’ve been going out for so long, things just became routine. It didn’t feel special anymore, really. I felt like he was with me because he had this perfect idea of me in his head that he could stick to. (We didn’t have the best beginning of a relationship, but that is a story for later). There were days I felt like I was lying to him. I felt like he was the only one there for me and I was still pushing him away. It’s what I do. I push people away when they actually get so close to affecting me in a large way. I‘m still with him though. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better guy to have in my life at the moment.

Clearly, I wasn’t really happy. I wasn’t miserable, but I wasn’t happy. I went through my life “happy” because I don’t like people worrying about me. I prefer to make others happy, even though it may probably hurt me in the process.

It was One Direction that turned it around.

Their personalities. Their humor. Their talent. It was them who got me out of this funk I’ve been in. I’ve been so unhappy, lying to myself that I was actually happy. I never realized how unhappy I really was until now. I would watch their videos and I would really laugh. I would listen to their music on repeat with a stupid smile plastered on my face. They made me forget how much crap I have to go through. They aren’t my escape, but they were somewhat my salvation.

No, they didn’t save me from committing suicide or taking pills. I’m not hat kind of person, but they did save me from my own emotions. Honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I have cried already in 2012, but as soon as I would put on their song, I would feel at peace. At my friend’s New Year’s party, they would all be talking about something, something that I have no way to relate to and even if I tried, I felt like I would be shunned away. I just turned on Up All Night and felt instantly better. The first time I felt happy in 2012 was because I was listening to Up All Night.

I smile whenever I see references to the boys. I’ve almost cried when I saw Harry crying in the Year in the Making documentary. I wanted to punch someone for telling Niall that he doesn’t have the best teeth in the world. Plus my adoration for Harry Styles almost made me want to cut a bitch when she told me she thought he was ugly. Before the only time I felt even the closest bit to happiness was when I was in dance, and even then when I had to lead warm-ups, I used WMYB as the song.

Somehow, these boys just turned my life around. They actually make me believe what I tell other people. “Things get better with time,”

This may not be as dramatic as someone else’s post on the boys. I’m just a lost girl who found happiness in a boy band. I never really understood how a band could change someone’s life until now.